BOOK REVIEW: If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman

A twist that will break your heart... An ending that will put it back together.
Audrey's family has fallen apart. Her two grown-up daughters, Jess and Lily, are estranged and her two teenage granddaughters have never been allowed to meet. A secret that echoes back thirty years  has splintered the family in two, but is also the one thing keeping them connected.
As tensions  reach breaking point, the irrevocable choice that one of them made all those years ago is about to surface. After years of secrets and silence, how can one broken family find their way back to each other.

Publisher: Orion

Pages: 368

If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman is a truly powerful read. The story is so compelling that I couldn't put it down, I had read the whole book in under 12 hours. It's a tricky one to review without giving the plot away but here goes!
Audrey has two daughters, Lily and Jess and they both have teenage daughters Phoebe and Mia born just weeks apart. But this is not a happy family, Jess has refused to speak to her sister for over thirty years and has no wish to acknowledge her niece who is so similar to her own daughter. Something happened one morning before school in 1988 and Jess won't reveal what the event was but the consequence is that she refuses to have anything to do with her sister. Audrey has decided to make one last attempt at mending her broken family but perhaps even she is not prepared to discover the secret Jess has kept for most of her life.
This book is so well written, you are left guessing as to what happened that fateful morning for the majority of the book. I had imagined all manner of things but I still did not foresee the final twist. Each time I reached the end of a chapter, I  just couldn't stop myself from continuing to the next one.
Each chapter is told from either Audrey, Jess or Lily's perspective plus there are some flashbacks to Audrey's childhood. This offered a great perspective and built upon the mystery, initially I thought that maybe Lily knew what Jess was so angry about but didn't want to tell her mother but it quickly became apparent that Lily has no idea why her sister has excluded her.
Hannah Beckerman explores the complexities of female familial relationships. The bond between mothers and daughters and also of sisters is such an interesting subject to examine. The author looks at how all three females are effected by events in their past and the consequences and negative impact it is having on their present lives. Jess in particular is so focused on her daughter Mia not making the same mistakes that she did that she has lost sight of who her daughter is and what her true aspirations might be.
I had forgotten just how emotional Hannah Beckerman's writing is. There were several times I found myself with tears streaming down my face. As a mother to a  young daughter I could totally put myself in these character's shoes and it is truly heartbreaking at times.
I urge you to read If Only I Could Tell You, when I reached the last page I felt like I had just read something extremely special. I think a lot of people are going to be talking about this book, it is fantastic.

Many thanks to Orion for allowing me to read a proof copy of this book via Netgalley, If Only I Could Tell You is published today.